The Reverse Idea
Something good happened from that last entry: there was a conversation. Not an argument, but a good discussion. An exchanging of ideas. This is what I want. This is what we all need. At some point in the future I will go into more detail about the nature of ideas. For now I want to bring to close a certain chapter of thought so that we might begin another.
In the last entry, I had talked of this cultural myth of "The Cinderella Story" and how many women believe in some version of it. I had said that the reverse idea, while nameless, was just as absurd a notion. Well, in the aforementioned conversation with my friend Katharine, she found a name for it, and we discussed how this flip side of the story plays out. The idea is hers, and I cannot take credit for it. But it fit so perfectly here that I wanted to at least bring it into the mix of our journey here.
She called the reverse of "The Cinderella Story" the story of "The Beast". Just as some women follow the storybook cues of Cinderella, some men will slip into the role of the Beast in "Beauty and the Beast". A man, scarred by his past love or loves, looks to a single woman to save him, to redeem him, to give him his value. He puts this pressure on her, and she responds to it, largely out of a sense of guilt/responsibility. He says he needs her, and so she tries to fill that need. It's completely unfair, and as I've said before, it's as absurd as the Cinderella story. These problems lie on both sides of the gender fence. No single sex reigns superior to the other.
Now, while her main goal was to help give a balanced view between men and women in the context of the last entry, Katharine hit on a core idea that really hit home for me: this need to be saved. I was having trouble bridging the gap from where the last entry left off to where I wanted to go next. A piece was missing. And Katharine gave it to me. This notion of needing to be saved. This idea of needing to be saved is not unique to the "Beasts"; it is common to a great many people. And it's not just prevalent in our romantic relationships. It's in our religions, it's in our everyday lives. This isn't about men or women. This is about humanity. What is it about us that gives us this constant need to be saved? Are we fundamentally flawed?
This is where our next chapter will begin.
In the last entry, I had talked of this cultural myth of "The Cinderella Story" and how many women believe in some version of it. I had said that the reverse idea, while nameless, was just as absurd a notion. Well, in the aforementioned conversation with my friend Katharine, she found a name for it, and we discussed how this flip side of the story plays out. The idea is hers, and I cannot take credit for it. But it fit so perfectly here that I wanted to at least bring it into the mix of our journey here.
She called the reverse of "The Cinderella Story" the story of "The Beast". Just as some women follow the storybook cues of Cinderella, some men will slip into the role of the Beast in "Beauty and the Beast". A man, scarred by his past love or loves, looks to a single woman to save him, to redeem him, to give him his value. He puts this pressure on her, and she responds to it, largely out of a sense of guilt/responsibility. He says he needs her, and so she tries to fill that need. It's completely unfair, and as I've said before, it's as absurd as the Cinderella story. These problems lie on both sides of the gender fence. No single sex reigns superior to the other.
Now, while her main goal was to help give a balanced view between men and women in the context of the last entry, Katharine hit on a core idea that really hit home for me: this need to be saved. I was having trouble bridging the gap from where the last entry left off to where I wanted to go next. A piece was missing. And Katharine gave it to me. This notion of needing to be saved. This idea of needing to be saved is not unique to the "Beasts"; it is common to a great many people. And it's not just prevalent in our romantic relationships. It's in our religions, it's in our everyday lives. This isn't about men or women. This is about humanity. What is it about us that gives us this constant need to be saved? Are we fundamentally flawed?
This is where our next chapter will begin.